Original Post • April 26, 2020 • 4:00pm
We’ve all heard it: “Live in the moment,” “Live like you were dying,” “Let tomorrow worry about itself,” “No one is promised tomorrow,” and so on. I can’t think of a single person who would disagree with these words (please raise your hand if you do- I would love to hear a fresh perspective).
The truth that we all know and believe, no matter what background we come from, and especially because as human beings we experience life’s traumas in all shapes and forms, is that we are not guaranteed any single breath beyond the one we just took. And this one. And this one. I know, I know- stating it so plainly sort of comes off as morbid, but if we pause and think, coming to terms with our own mortality is really vital to discovering the most meaningful rendition of our existence. An even more enticing thought is that “most meaningful” means different things to different people. It’s up to each individual to discover what that is for themselves.
One individual’s life can take innumerable paths. Any single one of those paths can be meandered down, aimlessly, our footsteps traversing the ground from one path to another through random intersections that we traipse as we wander. Wandering can be excruciatingly difficult and produce a myriad of negative feelings: fear, anxiety, skepticism, stress, indifference, helplessness, worry, numbness, hesitance, shame, powerlessness, fragility, isolation, abandonment, etc.
But Sam…. “Not all who wander are lost.”
I know, I know, but hear me out. I am not saying that all wandering is bad, however, I do think it is important to recognize that sometimes it is. The difference between good wandering and bad wandering is wrapped up in one word: intention.
I can intentionally set out on a journey of discovery through wandering. I can “wander” physically through the earth just to see what I find. I can “wander” mentally through my mind just to see what I find. Both of these activities are enticing to me personally, and produce a lot of natural learning about myself and the world around me, and that is good (and rather enjoyable).
However, I can also unintentionally find my mind wandering simultaneously with the forward flow of time. This is the one. This is the one that can get ugly.
As it applies to my mind, I can choose to wander intentionally or find myself wandering unintentionally. One of them will happen whether I like it or not, and unintentionally wandering can be dangerous.
Now, please hear me when I say, I am not an expert on this at all. I am a nobody. However, I do want to simply share my thoughts on the dangers of letting your mind unintentionally wander with the forward flow of time and how that relates to this phrase “live in the moment.”
I had, for a while, mostly understood “live in the moment” to be mutually exclusive of goal setting, but I have since discovered (through reading things from really smart, studied people) that this can’t be correct. Actually, these two actions can only be conducted fruitfully if they work in tandem with one another. We have always heard people, who are really great goal grabbers, say something to the effect: lay down a path of smaller goals that will lead to the ultimate goal. In other words, eat your elephant one bite at a time. So true. I mean, my books will never get published (ultimate goal) until I take every prerequisite step to the next (the path). It’s not brain surgery, or rocket science, or what have you. We know this. We all do.
But what happens when you, like me, have a hard time stepping on each smaller stone along your path?
Well, I found that this is the place where intention resides. This is where you have to apply “live in the moment.” Before simply getting to the point in the day when it is time to “meet your small goal” and hopefully make the right decision, there is an underlying work within yourself that needs to take place. If the internal work, which I will expand on in a moment, is not done, chances are you will not make that right decision to meet that small step to your goal when you meet it on your “path.”
It’s at this point in my questioning process that I realized what “living in the moment” actually means. It means, quite literally, “live in the moment.”
I know. I just blew your minds . Mic drop…
Seriously though, it doesn’t stop there. My next question was, “How do I take an abstract concept and make it concrete in my day to day? What does the act of “living in the moment,” of intention, look like in real life?”
Ever heard of “take every thought captive?” I have, and I continue to hear that phrase spoken by any number of people, quite often. It’s something I grew up hearing. It’s like hearing “eat your vegetables,” but still many, many people opt to eat something else (usually after making some awful number of excuses). This pillar of our lives (which I have come to see it as) has been here and spoken to me all this time, albeit going in one ear and out the other. It’s only when I came to realize that there is a you (hereafter referred to as Your Little Ball of Light), one layer deeper than what we normally access in our minds, who judges you (hereafter referred to as, simply, you).
Something really odd happened when I realized that you can have a conversation with Your Little Ball of Light about you.The only word I can really use to characterize the feeling I had at the moment I came across this realization is confusion. That inner dialogue sounded something like.. “wait, what? You mean I can go a layer deeper into myself than what I am typically aware of?” So. Weird.
I found that sparking a conversation with Your Little Ball of Light will lead you down a “live in the moment” rabbit hole. Basically, that conversation affords you awareness. When you realize there is another layer of you there… you start to think about your thoughts. Woah. You start to realize that your thoughts are just things that pass in and out of your consciousness.
I want to tell you that you have a .r e s p o n s i b i l i t y. to yourself and to your “sphere of influence” (the community that you directly impact, including your most cherished relationships) to start a dialogue with Your Little Ball of Light about what is going on with you.
This is the place where you can start “living in the moment.” Start with your thoughts. Think about your thoughts. You have time now. Do not let your thoughts wander aimlessly with the forward movement of time. Think about them, and let Your Little Ball of Light hold you accountable for the thoughts you let control you when you aren’t controlling them. Be mindful of your next “step.” Be intentional. Start a gratitude practice, or meditate on positive mantras.
Take control. I am capable of it (a truth that I didn’t always believe), and you are capable of it (It is science btw). I am not going to get into the inner workings of neuroplasticity, because I am not even close to an expert, but there are some amazing things you can find when you … intentionally wander down that road of discovery. (See what I did there?)
Look, all I’m saying is… when you start living in the moment (taking your thoughts captive as it’s told), Your Little Ball of Light has a say. You give her a little opportunity to choose to accept or reject each thought, in turn allowing her to order your next “step.” And, when you can do that, you can stop wandering aimlessly through time, be intentional, and hit that next “stepping stone” on the path to your ultimate goal- whatever it is and however many there may be.
IF YOU DO NOT keep this dialogue open with Your Little Ball of Light… you will wander aimlessly, and you will find yourself in a dangerous situation. This is because we are constantly bombarded with thoughts that originate from a myriad of external voices, voices telling us how to dress, what to do, who to be, etc…as it relates to our social construct. But guess what. Our social construct misses the mark often. By not taking control of your narrative, allowing thoughts to move through you unchecked, you will lose control of where your steps lead and you will look back and ask yourself “how did I get here? I don’t look or sound like me anymore.”
And the rabbit hole actually continues…
Where this leads is to, perhaps, the most important question: “What is right and what is wrong, and how do I know?”
That, I cannot answer for you. In my opinion, the answer lies somewhere in whatever relationship with your spirituality you have. From where do you derive your morals/values? What is your inner compass? Who is your mirror? The answer is super important because it’s what Your Little Ball of Light orbits around. It is super important and… only you can answer that.
Answer it.
Set goals.
Lay the path.
And live in the moment.
Only you can control your narrative.
You.
~Namaste
Indie Cruz 